"The Gym Is My Therapy"... Or Is It? A Trauma Therapist Reveals the Truth Most of Us Miss
There’s a phrase you’ve probably heard a thousand times in the fitness world, or maybe you’ve even said it yourself: “The gym is my therapy.”
It sounds empowering, right?
Like you’re taking control of your life, doing something positive, pushing through adversity.
But what if I told you this phrase (one that’s almost a badge of honor in gym culture) might actually be a red flag?
Recently on Sweat Success Podcast, we sat down with trauma therapist Ashley, and the conversation that unfolded genuinely shifted my perspective on this. Not in a dramatic, clickbait kind of way, but in a human, “oh… that actually makes sense” kind of way.
Avoidance is the real enemy.
That’s one of the first things Ashley said when we started talking… and that actually hit me because in the gym world, we celebrate discipline, routine, pushing hard and showing up no matter what. But Ashley explained something most people (especially trainers and gym owners) never think about:
→ A lot of people aren’t training to get strong. They’re training to avoid something.
Not consciously nor intentionally, But emotionally.
Some people cling to rigorous routines, extreme discipline, or never-miss-a-day training because the moment they stop… they’d have to feel something they’ve been trying to outrun.
It could be Shame, fear, grief, loneliness or childhood stuff they’ve never fully processed.
So suddenly, “the gym is my therapy” doesn’t sound as empowering as it used to.
Trauma Doesn’t Always Look Like What You Think
One of the most eye-opening parts of our conversation was how Ashley described trauma, which It’s not always the big, dramatic events we could imagine like war, car accidents, physical abuse, etc… sometimes, trauma can look like:
- Being told “stop crying” as a kid
- Being mocked for showing emotions
- Growing up around unpredictable adults
- Being compared to others
- Feeling unsafe expressing your needs
- Learning to stay silent to avoid getting in trouble
it’s mostly the little things repeated often enough over years the ones that affect you the most.
And then, one day you wake up as an adult and wonder:
- Why do I train so intensely?
- Why do I panic if I miss a workout?
- Why do I feel numb during the rest of my life?
- Why am I so proud of being “disciplined,” yet so exhausted inside?
And suddenly… the gym isn’t therapy no more, it’s protection from emotions you never learned to sit with.
The body keeps the score” and the gym exposes it
Ashley talked about trauma being stored in the body, and not in a poetic or metaphorical way but, literally.
And when you train, you’re activating the same systems where old emotional patterns live.
Which is why some people cry after a workout, get anxious mid-set, feel angry or wired with no explanation, or become obsessed with control around fitness, and this last one it’s a big one because obsession can look like dedication.
It can even be praised in gyms.
But Ashley revealed the line that separates the two… and once she said it, I couldn’t unhear it.
I won’t spoil it here, because the way she explains it is something you have to hear directly from her. But let’s just say this: A LOT of people believe they’re being “disciplined” when they’re actually being driven by unresolved emotions.
Trainers… you’re probably doing therapy without realizing it
This was one of the spiciest, most important parts of the entire conversation.
Ashley explained:
“Most gym owners and trainers become emotional anchors for their clients, not because they want to, but because clients naturally open up to people they trust.”
The problem is that most trainers have no idea what to do with that.
They mean well.
They want to help.
But sometimes the advice we give comes from:
- Our own biases
- Our own trauma
- Our own instinct to fix
- Our own discomfort with someone else’s pain
And that’s where things can accidentally go wrong. In the full episode, Ashley gave specific scripts you can use the next time a client unloads something heavy. She breoke down exactly what to say, how to stay in your lane, and how to support someone safely without crossing boundaries.
Again, you need to hear her explain it, because her delivery matters just as much as the words.
Healthy people don’t avoid their emotions. They face them.
This line changed me. Because it reframes the entire fitness mindset.
We don’t get healthier by getting leaner, We get healthier by getting honest.
And if you’ve ever wondered: Why do I train the way I do? Why do clients trauma-dump on me Why does the gym feel like the only place I’m okay? Why do I feel worse when I stop training? Am I helping clients or enabling them? Am I using the gym to heal… or to hide? This episode will answer questions you didn’t even know you had.
If you care about your own growth (or your clients’) you need to hear this.
This isn’t just another fitness conversation.
It’s one of the most eye-opening discussions we’ve ever had on the show.
And honestly? You’re going to look at the phrase “the gym is my therapy” completely differently after listening.
Watch the full episode here:
Go watch it.
It’s the kind of conversation that makes you see the gym, your clients, and yourself in a new way.
And if you stick with it to the end…
you’ll understand why this episode matters more than any we’ve done so far.
